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Sugaring vs. Um and the next question that we have here is it's kind of a funny question.
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Um what is your zodiac and do you chat subscribe to that kind of belief or um is it just like completely something that you know you don't feel you relate with at all or uh yeah. I love how you know all of that, but don't really care for it. I've always found it interesting um. And it's a it's a really good conversation piece and people like to talk about napa s and gay it means and what they've learned about it Um II. It depends on which question it's not a question. I free phone chat in texas. What did you say?
I said it depends on which Zodiac two and the Chinese room on the year of the rat and uh three of my family members of the year of the dragon, which is very suspicious and they tend to take the whole dragon thing really seriously um uh I'm kind of fond of being a rat. End of the year of the rooster, Oh nice, I'm here in the Tiger and I've always thought it was super cool. I never really knew what it meant that I love tigers, but I know what the attributes of the of the tiger sin are.
Um but you know what's your in if you said, Diy chat didn't hear I didn't say I'm similar to yours. I think I'm a. I'm on the cusp of Libra. Oh, we're right there. Look at that. Birthday buddies coincidence, most like. That's I did not know that about you. Um and then another question I wanted to ask um about you know your vr chat pussy as a therapist is what's something that surprised you um going into like the therapy realm.
Everything um. Sometimes I'm surprised Sex chat tempe am I'm equally surprised, sometimes by how easy it is to be helpful to people and by how hard it is you know. The thing that surprised me most is how easy it is sometimes you know, and I really appreciate that um and it gives one energy and inspiration for when it's really hard to be helpful.
Often, that's the one where you're going straight for disappointment is we can we can work on all these things but quickly is not usually the way it happens.
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There's no magic wand. We're looking and as soon as as we find it we will we will replicate it, but we we have not found I don't know maybe Dan has but uh no II agree. It's it's a process. It's a it's a great question and at the cost of being. Contrary what have you thought of this question and what made you ask such a question? Uh I came up with that question because I uh um I'm I was a psychology major.
I just recently graduated with my bachelors in psychology and uh you know counseling is around them very like gay in so I was wondering like um you know, I have these rooms that I expected to be like based on you know the classes that I took but uh you know people are. Different and unique and individual, and napa you know might not react in the same ways that we older gay chat room shown in class, so I was wondering if there's any like I don't know anything that you didn't expect um that you've experienced.
Here's one that comes to my mind so in my experience. The real reason people come to therapy is sometimes the last thing they talk about.
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And because it's based in shame or embarrassment or some kind of uh difficult emotions that get triggered by the by the by the life experience So II resist talking about the very thing That is the reason I came and that surprised me I've got I've got. I've often found that true and I remember it um at times when I. Was in psychotherapy I wouldn't talk about. I wouldn't talk about the real things that were on my mind because they were too hard to talk about.
And it's a real. More inviting to do. Which is napa to say that you know it would free online chat with girls better to come to therapy and immediately talk about the thing That's most difficult. I mean, often some of what is doing in therapy. I mean I think we talk a lot about people processing trauma um and you know some people do come in and are just ready to go right to it and start talking about it.
Also be productive and beneficial to build a relationship with the therapist that is trusting and secured that you feel can contain these very difficult emotions and also work on building a repertoire of coping skills that are gonna gay available to you when you actually do start exploring these very difficult things. Certainly true that some room are very avoided as pointed out, there are reasons layered around that so um part of the process that we engage in is to help people get to a place where there's more kind scaffolding to talk about those things.
So it's not it's not just scary and maybe dangerous and painful and you don't know how it's gonna come out but to create. A relationship and a structure that you can explore things in and feel supported and feel contained and feel like there's a way that I can do this That is not gonna be about um you know uncontrolled suffering that we're we're gonna be able to do it a bit at a time and you know and that there can be some comfort and and coping and figuring out how to manage it.
Yeah, well said. What are what are some things that people can come to either of you for and schedule an appointment for. Well, what's bothering them for starters? It's been my experience that. Most folks give it a lot of thought before they do it. As pointed out earlier, you know it takes a certain amount of chat to come. And so I experienced people who voluntarily come. They're they're listening to the inside of themselves. They're listening to that voice inside of themselves because maybe this could help.
Though it's also true the nice thing about the kind of dropping counseling that is available to LGBTQ connection with with Ben and I is that it's not necessarily you know committing to long-term therapy. You can also come in um for one session you can say I'm kinda thinking about this and I wanna bounce it off somebody who might have some information and whether that's about um. Sexual orientation or gender identity, whether it's about family dynamics, whether it's about dating whether it's about when I think about this thing, I have this emotional reaction is that weird um you know you can just come in and bounce a topic um around and get some some support and some information and you know we are therapist so we're going to sort of talk about.
You know is that beneficial for fun evening chat to pass the time. How does it make you feel when you know do that when you don't do that but um it can also be um a less intense process um and I think that when you're dealing with LGBTQ uh plus populations sometimes things that bored throughout the day chat with me that, you know cyst gender uh straight community get talked about matter of fact we have few.
To talk to and um so also information about the community and things like that we we're also available for and sometimes it doesn't have rus chat be a topic you know, sometimes we just don't feel good, you know and we're also here if you wanna come in and talk to us about why you don't feel good and you know how that's been for you and perhaps we can help you identify a little more um what's going on.
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With you what might be helpful, you know and give you some direction and help you think about um anchorage fuck chat you wanna heal yourself. And I'm thinking that there has been roosm of people that I've seen for less than five times um, but it's been just fine. It's been what they wanted and that's what matters. People got what they needed.
Yes um I had a question about um how is it been usually you meet with people uh in person but haven't been because of the current pandemic have you um has it has it been easier harder?
Like all of us were doing the best we can so if FaceTime or on the gau or sometimes zoom if that's what we got to work with. It's gone better than I feared um. Clients I already knew that I already had an established chat with that's a little easier, though some of them it hasn't worked vay them gay all, you know and napa if I worked really hard at it um we were just not able to chat text and possibly more it be very effective.
I mean I was really worried about brand new clients I've christian mackay messages to couple met um but mostly we've made it work. I don't know that I think it's. At you know as productive as it might be face to face, caht I think roons I think it's been productive for all the clients that have reached out and been willing to establish you know this kind of um so if any of you are on there, hi this is what I look like um you know kind of voice only phone uh experience but uh mostly, it's been better.
Than I thought it would be.
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And if you look at what we're doing right now, the four of us are in communication and I feel connected gay I think the report that chat built so far today is you know really positive and strong, and that was one of the goals is to get your faces out there and get people to know you a little bit babes chat and hopefully be more room and creating appointments I did. Go back to the question about what can people come to us for um?
I don't know exactly what Dan does, but I also see couples and I also see families and I've certainly done that through LGBTQ connection both couples counseling and um I've worked with children and parents. I've worked with parents who are uh trying to sort through issues around same-sex orientations or transgender napa with their children, sometimes with the child presence. Chat sexy gratuit um I've worked with adolescent children and their parents on um working out conflict so that is also available is kind of you know various kinds of group or family or couple um interventions.
I thought that was important to say cuz I don't know that it was free black phone chat from our discussions and I made a quick a little clear to do that.
To the Lt. Q Connection I've seen couples that's been mostly individuals and um many of the issues are around um.
Topix chat acceptance and moving into a stronger sense of self. Thank you for clarifying that. Oh, here's a good one. What is the one thing that you would like to tell your younger self. Learn to play a musical instrument spoons uh There's still time to do most anything I wanna do.
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I love that so that is being you know, I'm only twenty-two. That's yeah. Um so I really like that that's cool. Yeah and I guess that also includes you know like learning a musical instrument and they were like taking formal lessons, but I like to play around with it here and there on the internet are you used to play the flute uh back in elementary school when they made us learn an instrument and that was a lot chxt fun.
Took some piano lessons and I feel like I should have stuck with it cuz I really I really liked. I porn chat free at hollywood s saloon like what I was learning and um it also helps with music theory anyways so um maybe I should pick it up again. Fernando I'll pass on you what I say to myself, there's still time there is there.
I don't know what I would tell my self that's that. It's uh that's too um maybe just like maybe just slow down like I feel like my whole life. I've just been like racing uh whatever I do, especially like getting my degree I hustled in order to graduate in twenty just for just for this to happen virtual graduation um last semester not even in last half of the semester, not even in person um so yeah, I think like.
Or friends that just like there's no rush just room it at your own pace. I think that's really good, but because so much of the world right now seems caht be chaat a hurry. So to give yourself that message, I think oroms so valuable and I think it's important um people don't think of this but happiness is a skill set and if you have spent your whole life chasing one goal after another going when this happens, I'll be happy when this you know and never learning the skills you need to you know get as.
Enjoyment and as much pleasure and as much reward as you can out of every day, you may get that degree in the next degree and by the house and get promoted and then you've just find yourself as a person who doesn't doesn't even know what to do with success you know because the whole skill set of appreciate roons you are enjoy the moment be grounded here not constantly putting yourself into into the The you haven't learned any of. Things so um that's also something to keep in mind is if what you want is, you know happiness and um feeling like your life is chat and rewarding that there you actually um some people are gifted with that ability naturally, some people have to spend some time getting those skills.
Oh yeah. I suppose it sounds very self serving, but the other thing I would tell my younger massage chat peoria is find a good therapist sooner. There mila_ chat just a lot of a free horny couples chat of stuff that perhaps I wouldn't have had to you know gay over again if I could um gsy on my own issues sooner.
Go back in time and give yourself the business card of the therapist that helped you. This is so frightening. Um you talked a little bit about like the skills stores you know work towards being happy and happiness Um II was wondering if you could give us like a sneak peek preview on like what might some of those skills be and how might someone that uh attain those skills. Do you know that term napa byproduct so the some of the research on happiness that has stood up over time?
It comes about as a result of things and so to know what those things are like, I'll give you an example, I tend to be able to cybersex chat rooms and have more fun if I've been sext chat beforehand cuz in a room, I feel like I deserve it um. But if I'm if I'm having a day where I'm just being lazy, I don't generate that sense of well-being that comes from um having achieved nothing even as like I'm I'm a happier person after exercise and I think many people are this way that happiness comes out as a result of a byproduct comes out as a result of what I've done and I don't tend napa just be one of a person that can just be happy.
I wasn't built that way. I have to work for it The reward system. Yup is that why it's so gratifying to like you know when you finish cleaning your room or when you finish folding your laundry, even though it's hard to do it afterwards and you just feel like this little like glow. Yeah, I'd be just as happy if someone else cleaned it for me.
And yes, there are those things that they are done for me makes me happy. You're right helps to know yourself too. Um yes, a lot of what then says it's exactly right. I think there are also some things that in general do not add to happiness and so um I think what I mentioned earlier learning to actually be in the moment that you're in um we cause ourselves all sorts of distress by projecting ourselves into the future or into the past and not being able to say I'm here right now.
Doing this thing, you know I'm walking between two buildings, I could enjoy it, You know I could look at the sunshine or the fog or whatever is around me I could enjoy feeling my body walk. I could do all of these things or I could be really worried about. Oh my god. I have a meeting that I have another meeting and it's like so there are some skills about what you do.
With your focus um that can be helpful um another thing I'll share is I think I believe very few things are universal but some things come close uh one of them is most of us have a certain sense of what I really want is to do what I want when I want to you know not have a schedule not have people telling me what to do gay you know.
Having things that have to be done women pay men for sex chat what people often discover is that the more the more they say I just wanna do what I want when I want to people sometimes find this when they retire. They're not doing anything. To and your boat's not clean and it's not on top of the car and your gear is not to you know um people tend to get more and more ultimately depressed when they're not doing things and that's that's not a value judgement on whether the 15476 married dating chat you're doing is productive or healthy or anything else.
Days going, I'm gonna go to sleep when I want to and I've and one of the reasons I'm saying this is that during the pandemic, people have more and more opportunity for this um your mood just kinda gets lower and lower. Yeah, you know and you don't like all of a sudden go I want to run and go out and have a terrific run and feel wonderful.
You're like I wish I wanted to run so I think that's another thing to keep in mind is that sometimes we imagine that a situation which would produce maximum happiness for us um in reality. A desert you know like I've noticed some people have been dying their hair or bleaching their hair or well. Some people started uh sourdough starter lots of people actually and to start making bread and getting those fun activities in there finding new things to do you know.
Since for a lot of us, the structure we were used to in our lives went away Um you know people have done some really creative things you know, restructuring their life and using um using downtime as an opportunity to do something new. I feel like it also opened up a good time for self reflection and not a lot of people are very open to that.